Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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