I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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