erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
