some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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