So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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