just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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