i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
