Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize