I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
