Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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