Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize