i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
