If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
