how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
