So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
