I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
