I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
