I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Let's paint friendship bongs
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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