I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize