she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
