Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
