So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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