i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
