Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
