Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
