Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
