What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Dignity is for republicans.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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