NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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