I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
