He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize