We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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