You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
