i just wanna soil my oats bro
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
