Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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