Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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