Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
this will be a night to untag.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Send help, water and tortillas.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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