He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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