New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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