grandma shit on top of the toilet
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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