people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
