Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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