Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
