You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
