Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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