I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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