I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
