I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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