i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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