why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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