Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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