Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
