Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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