I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
that's an acceptable place to lick
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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