I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
