i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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