I must be too annoying 4 u.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
