my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
