i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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