george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
