Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
someone owes me an orgasm
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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