Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
