He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Can Purell be used as lube?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
